go back!

[2] oh no .....

when: mar 28 2022
what: oh my god

why: dude i totally forgot about this place. totally forgot i made this website. i don't even know how to code like that and i somehow managed to make this so that's pretty cool lol!!! last time i was here it was literally pre-pandemic and as i read through everything i've written on here, i just want to cringe and cry and laugh and reminisce. so on brand of me

you wanna know how i remembered this site? i looked myself up on google and found this again. like it was the 4th/5th result and i audibly gasped because bro.... i did not expect it to be up there. like i expected my facebook maybe, or my instagram but not THIS! and then i just realized how for the past 2 years, anyone who ever searches me probably found this site and maybe looked through it (the thought of that makes my skin crawl).

so now i'm here again and idk if i want to update this or not. i've made more art since mar of 2020. now it's 2022 and i have changed so much. many things realized, many tears, many times i felt everything and nothing at the same time. but looking back at how i felt about my life in the last journal entry, i would say i've changed a lot.... grown a lot.... but it's a continuous journey that will never finish. i will always grow, for better or for worse. i can only go up (or down!) from here, and i'm happy to say i am still alive and i am thankful i am still alive :)

it's just so funny.... so funny how vulnerable i thought i was being on this site. i've made strides to really just be me and not be ashamed of myself. therapy, feeling my emotions, writing/journaling, and just living and learning has really helped me in being myself.

i've been writing a lot of poetry lately. like a lot. not gonna make one for this journal entry tho. not the vibe atm

fate: with my grammy right now watching tfc